I love my job…but…I hate starting to write.
Not because I hate writing, but because I am constantly trying to overcome my fear.
Most of the time I approach writing with a knot in my stomach, a distracted buzzing in my brain, and dread in my heart.
And yet, most days, I force myself to write. Most days I really enjoy it once I get into some kind of flow. Almost always, I end up feeling better for having done it.
My favorite Dorothy Parker quote is, “I hate writing, I love having written.”
It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
But you’d think, after all this time, the process would get easier. Instead it feels harder with the added pressure of trying to meet the expectations of readers.
Writing this post is a form of procrastination. It allows me to feel productive, when really I’m just avoiding writing new chapters. I guess that means I should go write now.
Or maybe I’ll take a nap…a nap might help.
Or maybe I’ll go for a walk…a walk could help.
Or maybe I’ll make some more coffee…coffee helps.