The Hitwoman‘s Reunion
Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman Book 45
Maggie Lee is stressed as she plans a hit ordered by the mob boss while simultaneously coordinating a Going Away party for her brother.
Things only get worse when the body of a kid she went to high school with is found and her old friend Zeke becomes the main suspect in a murder investigation.
Meanwhile, a series of unexpected reunions knocks Maggie off her game and she makes some dangerous mistakes.
If she’s not careful, she could be the one who ends up going away…for murder.
Excerpt
Prologue
You just know it’s going to be a bad day when you’re roused from a deep slumber by panicked shrieking.
“Help! Help! Help!” a tiny voice squeaked.
Startled awake, I sat up in bed. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Fighting my way free of the bedding, which seemed like a living thing intent on keeping me trapped, I stumbled out of bed and promptly tripped over the snoring pig, sprawled out on the floor, oblivious to the cries for help.
I hit the carpet with a dull thud. I groaned at the pain caused by the jarring impact.
Matilda, the said pig, stirred but stayed asleep.
“It’s just a nightmare,” Piss, my one-eyed cat purred.
“That would have been good to know before I bruised my knees,” I snapped at her.
“She was talking to the mouse, not you,” a superior voice informed me.
I glared up at the anole lizard draped across a piece of driftwood in the terrarium which took up the surface of my dresser.
“Help! Help! Help!” the dreaming mouse pleaded.
“Even when he’s asleep he speaks in triplicate,” complained the lizard, Godzilla, God, for short.
“Up wake! Up wake!” DeeDee, my Doberman pinscher barked excitedly.
“Shhh!” I reprimanded her. “You’ll wake up the whole house.”
“Sorry,” the dog whined, then she licked my face as though to make up for the bad behavior.
“You’re okay, Benny,” the cat told the mouse. “You just had a bad dream.”
“Scary, scary, scary,” Benny gasped.
“You’re safe now,” Piss assured him. “Right, Maggie?”
Struggling to my feet, I peered into the enclosure of the little white mouse. “You’re just fine.”
He wriggled his whiskers. “Out? Out? Out?”
“Sure.” I gingerly lifted him off his straw bedding and let him relax on my palm.
“What were you dreaming about?” the cat asked curiously.
I sat on the edge of the mattress, and she jumped up to sniff and then lick her tiny friend.
“Experiments, experiments, experiments,” Benny revealed in a small voice.
My heart broke for the little guy who’d been the equivalent of a lab rat when we’d rescued him.
“The past doesn’t stay buried,” the lizard declared somberly.
“That’s all over now,” Piss purred, trying to soothe the rodent.
“This is all Loretta’s fault,” God accused.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“She scared him by threatening to test her newest stinky concoction on him,” the lizard explained, dislike dripping from every syllable he uttered.
Benny squeaked in dismay and shuddered against my hand.
“When was this?” I asked, alarmed.
“Yesterday,” the lizard replied. “She came in while playing hide-and-seek with the girls. She looked in the closet and under the bed, then she told Benny he’d make a great test subject.”
Outraged, I jumped to my feet. “I’m going to kill her!” Considering I’m a part-time assassin, it wasn’t an empty threat.
“Can’t you,” DeeDee pointed out as I gently placed Benny back onto his bedding.
“I didn’t mean literally kill her,” I assured the dog, who, while sweet and loyal, wasn’t the brightest pet in my menagerie. “I’m just going to scold her for scaring poor Benny.”
“Your canine companion is correct,” God said. “You can’t.”
It was unusual for the lizard to agree with the Doberman, so I waited for him to continue.
“How would you explain knowing what she said to a mouse? Unless, of course, you want it to be public knowledge that you can talk to animals,” God said.
“Idea bad,” DeeDee woofed softly.
Knowing they were both right, I nodded.
“Unless you want to room with your mother,” God concluded.
I scowled. One of my greatest fears was getting locked up in the loony bin where my mom resides. “I’ve got to say something to Loretta. She can’t just go around scaring him.”
“Say the room reeked of her perfume and you’d prefer for her to stay out of your private space,” Piss suggested.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Benny agreed.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Hungry!” DeeDee panted desperately
“She’s always hungry,” the lizard griped.
I let the cat and dog out of the room, pulled on my pink fluffy robe and slippers, scooped the lizard out of his terrarium and put him on my shoulder, ready to face the day.
Little did I know it was going to be a doozy.