The Hitwoman and the Missing Date
Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman Book 49
Maggie Lee has never been an enthusiastic fan of PMS.
(Obviously you know that PMS stands for the Psychic Matchmaking Service developed by her friend Armani Vasquez.)
When a couple matched by PMS mysteriously disappears, Armani enlists Maggie’s grudging help to find them.
As she retraces the steps of the pair’s day-long date, Maggie investigates a myriad of mysteries that may have led to them going missing, all while dealing with exhaustive disruptions.
Can Maggie find the missing lovebirds? Or is she too distracted to realize that she, herself, is in danger of being disappeared?
Excerpt
Prologue
You just know it’s going to be a bad day when the guy you’ve hit on is trying to bash your head in.
My name is Maggie Lee. While I’m not exactly a champion in the arena of courtship, this particular dating development wasn’t my fault. PMS was totally to blame.
“Duck! Duck! Duck!” the little white mouse urged from my purse.
“Duck, duck, goose!” the drunken lizard in my bra slurred.
Neither one of them was much help as I scrambled to get away from my attacker.
I ducked, as the mouse had suggested. A hammy fist swung over my head.
“I’ve got him,” Griswald panted breathlessly, jumping on the back of my attacker.
I shot my aunt’s husband an incredulous look, just before he was sent flying through the air like a newbie rodeo rider being catapulted off a bucking bronco.
The massive man we were battling let out a roar like I’d imagine a T-Rex would have sounded like.
Godzilla, all of a couple of inches long, roared back from my bra. “You don’t scare me!”
The man, of course, only heard high-pitched squeaking.
The mouse, however, announced, “I’m scared. I’m scared. I’m scared.”
“Don’t be,” God assured him with inebriated bravado. “Maggie can take him.”
“No, she can’t,” I gasped, scrambling away as the man tried to kick my head in. “Everyone has too much faith in my nonexistent abilities.”
“What are you mumbling about?” Syd Haleck growled.
Syd Haleck. That was the man trying to pummel me as I kept trying to avoid his blows. Syd Haleck, who, according to Griswald, would be “the easiest job ever” was a petty criminal with a penchant for purses.
I should have known better than to think anything in my life would go smoothly. I’m not that kind of gal, the blessed kind, the lucky kind, the kind where anything ever goes right.
It hadn’t been my idea to hit on Syd. The responsibility of that particular bad choice belonged to the now inebriated lizard.
“Flirt with him,” God had urged. “Use your feminine wiles to distract him.” Then he’d added snarkily, “Despite the fact that your feminine wiles leave a lot to be desired.”
His insult had overridden my good sense, and I’d set out to prove to him that I could be just as seductive as the next woman…and I’d provide the distraction Griswald had requested so that he could retrieve a stolen designer handbag.
And now, here we were, the lizard was drunk, Griswald was getting tossed around like a child’s toy and I had to figure out how to keep us all alive.