JB Lynn

Hijinks, Hilarity and Heart

Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Neighbors informing my writing

By Leave a Comment

Real life has been impacting my writing more than usual lately.

A couple of months ago, when we were still on full lockdown, a neighbor called late at night. She’d fallen and hurt herself; and wanted a ride to the hospital.

Long story short, despite my misgivings surrounding the virus, I helped her because I thought it was the right thing to do. 

Got her dressed, put her in my car, took her to the hospital, returned a few hours later to bring her home, took her to the all-night pharmacy and waited inside with her while she got painkillers, took her home.

I then checked on her multiple times a day for the next couple of days to make sure she was okay.

She verbally thanked me.

Now I don’t do things in order to be thanked, but I do notice when someone makes almost no effort to acknowledge an effort that was made on their behalf. If she’d just given me a card, I would have felt okay, but because she did next to nothing, I felt used.

Last week she moved, without so much as a text saying good-bye.

I know that says more about her than it does about me, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot as I finish up Hitwoman 24. 

In this book, despite already having too much on her plate, Maggie Lee does something which she believes to be the right thing, but then she has second thoughts about it and ends up feeling used.  In some ways, her emotional journey in this one is hitting close to home and I’ve been struggling to get it right.

Not to worry, Maggie’s story has a happy-ish ending.

To tap into that, I’ve been thinking about another neighbor.

A few years ago, a woman I barely knew (we’d met a few times but had never really spent any time together) called me in a panic. She was on a trip and hadn’t brought her passport, but they weren’t going to let her on the cruise without it. 

She asked me to go into her home, find the passport and send a picture so that they’d allow her to board.

So I did, despite the fact I’d never stepped inside her home before. I was happy to do it for her.

She was sooo grateful and when she returned thanked me with a sweet card, a sweet treat and a gift certificate. As a result, we became friends and remain so despite the fact she’s moved across the country.

And when she moved, she gifted me this painting she’d done:

I just love it!

The Magic Formula?

By 1 Comment

I was talking to an acquaintance the the other day who asked me what the magic formula for writing is.

After exerting ALL my self-control to not roll my eyes or scoff at her (in times of pandemic, I’m thinking scoffing is crueler than usual) I managed to tell her that the “magic formula” is work. Usually hard work that no one can even see that you’re doing until your “magical” success when you finish a manuscript, publish a book, or hit a list.

There’s no magical formula, but there IS some writing advice I give to everyone who asks.

Years ago I saw this advice from author Bob Mayer (or I heard him say it at a workshop…either way he gets the credit): I would do anything to succeed at _______, just don’t ask me to _________.

Most people can fill in both blanks pretty easily.

“I would do anything to succeed at skydiving, just don’t ask me to jump out of a plane.”

“I would do anything to be covered in great tattoos, just don’t ask me to face a needle.”

Those might seem like extreme and/or silly examples, but we’re not always the most logical of beings.

For writers they might look like:

I would do anything to succeed at writing a book, just don’t ask me to give up playing video games to make the time to actually write.

or

I would do anything to succeed at landing my dream agent, just don’t ask to face the rejections that result as part of the querying process.

Right now my personal statement is: I would do anything to finish this latest Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman book, just don’t ask me to be funny in the midst of all this worldwide suffering and turmoil. (If you haven’t read the books, “funny” is a prerequisite and I’ve been struggling mightily with this manuscript.)

What about you? What are you dreaming of? What are your goals?

Take a second to fill in those blanks for yourself.

I would do anything to succeed at ____________, just don’t ask me to _________.

If you can force yourself to actually do whatever the second blank is, you’ve got a decent chance of creating your own magic.

The Cursed Chicks experiment

By Leave a Comment

Yesterday I posted Chapter 26 of 1 Flew Over the Raven’s Nest.

This is proving to be an interesting experiment. To give something back to readers during the isolation of the pandemic, I began posting chapters (as I write them) of the first book in my new Cursed Chicks series. It’s fun…but it’s also frightening. It’s strange to try know I won’t have the opportunity to go back and fix things and that’s led to me working fairly slowly on it. (That and the fact I’m trying to fix the next book in my Hitwoman series.)

But it’s been cool to get all the positive feedback from readers as I write.

And for those that aren’t reading along, YES, it will be released in book form when it’s done. (But no, I don’t know when that will be yet.)

If you haven’t started it yet, here’s what the story is about:

You may think your mother-in-law is a witch, but RV’s really was.

And now there’s a very real chance she’ll be haunted by Mildred Bloodworth for eternity.

The only way to free herself from the curse that binds them, is for RV to make amends for Millie’s misdeeds.

Accompanied by a possessed Siamese cat, RV embarks, in her mother-in-law’s pink camper van, on a journey to right wrongs. But plans, like spells, can backfire.

RV drives right into a crime scene and quickly becomes the chief suspect in a mysterious murder.

Determined to prove her innocence, RV investigates with the help of a lucky penny, a wise owl, a reclusive turtle, and a magician whose agenda is unknown.

Finding a silver lining

By 1 Comment

Is anyone else sick of this “new normal”?

I’ve been having soooo much trouble writing. More hours, less words, even less words that I’m actually happy with. The delete key is my best friend lately.

(That said, I’m loving writing ONE FLEW OVER THE RAVEN’S NEST the first book in my Cursed Chicks series. Currently I’m posting the chapters as I write them, so check it out.)

But I’m struggling with Hitwoman 24 and I’m not making as much progress on my passion project as I’d like to be.

I think that part of the reason is that there’s a distinct lack of stimulation coming in (staying home, not seeing anything or anyone different) and that’s making my output sputter.

The silver lining of all this is that I’ve spent more time on getting into photography and I’ve been enjoying that. (I’d enjoy it more if I ever did it more than a mile away from home, lol.) Still, I’m having fun with it!

What are the silver linings YOU’VE found in all this?

The Cursed Chicks experiment

By Leave a Comment

I’ve been posting chapters of ONE FLEW OVER THE RAVEN’S NEST (the first in my new Cursed Chicks series) as I write them. Well, technically it’s not AS I write them. I write them, send them to an absolutely wonderful reader to point out any typos she spots, clean them up and THEN post them.

I decided to do this as my way of helping those contending with the Covid-19 debacle. (I can’t tell you how much the comments and notes I’ve received from readers have meant to me. I’m so glad that my silly little story has offered you a few minutes to escape from reality.)

This has been an interesting experiment on a couple of fronts. First, it feels like flying without a net. If I make a mistake story-wise I can’t go back and fix it in edits. My poor choices are already out there. No take-backs!

Second, this book was scheduled to come out AFTER the release of THE HITWOMAN AND THE EXORCISM which will be out on May 28th. RV, the main character in Raven’s Nest plays a major role in the Hitwoman book and I keep writing things that reference that role…but then I have to delete them because I’m trying to avoid spoilers.

Third, there’s a lot of pressure to crank out these chapters. But they’re not the only thing I’m working on. In addition to the prep work for the release of Exoricism, I’m writing Hitwoman 25 (and another passion project) not to mention all of the other things that go into being self-employed. Plus, just like everyone else, there are days when I get overwhelmed by our virus-ridden new world. According to my Fitbit, I haven’t had a night of “GOOD” sleep since March 7th…and that seems pretty accurate. Hmmmm…maybe I should write a new story about a character who goes to ridiculous extremes to get a decent night’s sleep. What do you think?

Maggie Lee will do anything to protect her family…including participating in an exorcism.

When her niece is threatened by an evil spirit, Maggie and her menagerie (with the help of friends Armani and RV) must find a missing skull and rob a graveyard. As if that isn’t enough, they must also go on a quest to collect a list of magical ingredients (including pumpkin spice coffee, because everyone knows that’s some magical stuff right there). 

God is being snarkier than usual, as Maggie also contends with the demands of a mob boss, the fallout of a killing, and an offer of a job that could be her most dangerous yet.

Will she figure out a way to exorcise the evil spirit to save her beloved niece Katie or will the cursed cloud Maggie’s always lived under finally get the best of her?

Have you preordered your copy yet?

Death Smurf!!!!

By Leave a Comment

This is Death Smurf.

Note his killer scythe and the fact he’s carrying Smurfette’s scalp.

Now I know some will try to convince me that this is Farmer Smurf and he’s carrying a sheaf of wheat or something, but you’re wrong. This is Death Smurf and you will never convince me otherwise. Have you ever looked in his eyes and seen the crazy evil there????

But don’t worry, Death Smurf is not out in the world. I keep him in my terrarium.

And yes, if you think you see a pair of smooching dinosaurs in the background, they’re in there too.

But don’t worry, I make Death Smurf maintain social distance from Tyrone and Rex…cuz you know, extinction and all.

And if you wonder why I write about a hitwoman with a heart of gold who talks to animals, psychic sisters who inherit a consignment shop and a woman who is being haunted by her witchy ex-mother-in-law….it’s because I’ve got Death Smurf smirking at me.

Tour of my writing desk

By 2 Comments

I’m always rearranging my desk. Here’s the current view:

Yes, I do have three plants, three light sources (candle, salt lamp, regular lamp) and two drinks (water and coffee). I don’t know if this shows my priorities or my obsessions, lol.

The basket holds my pens, notes, and work tracker book. The salt lamp and palm are pretty self-explanatory and that’s a ginger-peach candle.

A terrarium (more on that in a couple of days) and a fern get the center space to make sure they get enough light.

There’s magic in that there little bowl. Seriously….my inspiration talismans for the Cursed Chicks series are in there. And RV’s a badass so I keep the button on the lamp handy for those moments when I need to hit it.

I’d LOVE to show you what’s in the magic bowl but then I’d have to have Maggie from the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series do you some serious harm, (Have I mentioned that book 23, THE HITWOMAN and the EXORCISM is available for preorder?)

Water and coffee are always on hand. My rule for myself is that every time I want to refill my coffee mug, I have to drink 10 ounces of water (the bottle holds 32).

So that’s the view of my writing desk this week, where I’m currently working on Hitwoman 24, One Flew Over the Raven’s Nest, and a passion project.

Six Chapters Available to Read!

By Leave a Comment

Have you been keeping busy? I have!

I’ve been writing and posting chapters for

a free serial

Make sure to head over to the CURSED CHICKS CLUB to read the first six chapters (more available soon) of ONE FLEW OVER THE RAVEN’S NEST.

You may think your mother-in-law is a witch, but RV’s really was.

And now there’s a very real chance she’ll be haunted by Mildred Bloodworth for eternity.

The only way to free herself from the curse that binds them, is for RV to make amends for Millie’s misdeeds.

Accompanied by a possessed Siamese cat, RV embarks, in her mother-in-law’s pink camper van, on a journey to right wrongs. But plans, like spells, can backfire.

RV drives right into a crime scene and quickly becomes the chief suspect in a mysterious murder.

Determined to prove her innocence, RV investigates with the help of a lucky penny, a wise owl, a reclusive turtle, and a magician whose agenda is unknown.

I’ve also been keeping busy with finishing up the story edits for Hitwoman 23! I’ll share the cover and blurb for that soon!

Plus, I just finished taking a great class, Unlock Your Five Star Future, for creative entrepreneurs with Mel Jolly.

Make sure to sign up for her newsletter to know when registration opens again. (HINT: it’s going to be very soon.) Even if you’re not interested in the class, you should know that the tips she shares in her newsletter make it a “must read” for me every week.

As you know, I’m always chasing down goals. Next post, I’ll show you how my crafting is coming along. (Prepare to chuckle!)

So many books, so little time

By Leave a Comment

A reader recently asked how I manage to write so many books, so I’m going to try to write a series of posts explaining my process.

My answer to her was, “I started dictating”…which is true, but it’s not the whole answer. Sure, dictating has streamlined my process. Staying in “flow” instead of fixing spelling and punctuation errors definitely makes it easier to maintain my creativity. And yes, I have a great team working with me, and that alleviates a lot of pressure. But honestly, one of the reasons I write so many books is that I’ve got so many rattling around in my head….ALL THE TIME.

This week I started a book, a spinoff of the Neurotic Hitwoman series, that I first conceived of more than three and a half years ago. I wrote a blurb. I worked on character sheets. I did some plotting.

But the timing wasn’t right. So for years I let it roll around in the back of my head like a rabid dust bunny picking up bits and pieces, here and there. Then, while writing THE HITWOMAN GOES TO PRISON, the time for this new series suddenly felt right. So I dug a hole and planted a seed.

And in Hitwoman 23, I did the necessary watering and weeding. Now it’s a seedling of a story…with a complete plot sketched out and the first chapter done.

I’m doing this while working on the Psychic Consignment Mysteries.

If you’re keeping count…that means I’m actively working on three series at the moment: Hitwoman, Consignment and the Hitwoman spinoff. (We won’t even talk about the passion project I’m working on…which will probably never see the light of day.) 

Each one is at a different level of development. I’m writing the spinoff, preparing Hitwoman for my story editor and working on the story edits I’ve gotten back for Consignment 3. Each takes a different kind of thinking. 

And don’t even ask about the stories still inside my head!!!